Happy Birthday to Me
(Most amazing birthday cake EVER from my best friend Sarasai for my 40th) Yes those are handmade penis butterflies.)
I’ll be honest. There are days when I feel beautiful, or rather full of beauty. As in, the Beauty Way. On these days, my heart is full of gratitude. I am simply thankful to be alive and I count my blessings to have my family, and my health. I am very fortunate with who I get to call friend: from my Uncle Jake, a decorated war hero and road man, to my incredible “relatives” from my church, to amazing co-workers, and old and new soul sisters and brothers, to my loving husband and children. I am still close with my mother and sister who live nearby.
But I AM A WOMAN.
And so despite the fact I do pretty well on those spirituality check off lists, I have my good and my bad days.I have been posting photos of myself when I was younger on Facebook lately. I’ve never really considered myself super pretty or anything but now looking back from 42, I’m like WOW, I looked pretty good. And so when I look in the mirror , it is not with disdain, but kind of like humph? wha happened? Maybe I would have taken better care of my skin! I realize that the physical beauty of youth is replaced by the inner beauty of wisdom and compassion. I’ll never be twenty again. Tomorrow I turn 42. While it IS shocking what has happened to my chin and how my legs never got any bigger than they were at 16…and my stomach did..why I will shamelessly becry my lost youth by remembering it outloud, while I still have my days and or nights of insecurity…In this moment, I have the whole world and everything good within it. Apparently I was struggling with growing older 5 years ago, I possibly will again 5, 10 years from now, and God willing for the next 50 decades!! Celebrate what is here NOW. That is my advice to myself and all of you.